Why is it so hard to love?

Being a mother is a lifetime job. No matter how old your children are they need our love. and the reassurence that they are loved.


What I do not understand is why is it so hard to love and remain in love with your mate. I will never understand how people stop loving, why does someone put their previous love down when not to long before they were in love and wanted nothing more than to be with that person.


I believe in commitment, making a commitment to another to love and to Cherish, what is it that makes that so hard? We are all so different yet I see so many new lovers jump into marriage have children then jump out just as fast. That would be okay if they did not have children, but most do and then the children are split between mother and dad and grandparents are shunned...It is a mess of heart break. The mother puts down the father cutting him with words that the child hears and soon the child feels confused as to where their loyalties should lie. Fathers do the same thing, somehow justifying their decision to break up the marriage because of the other bad parent. These selfish parents are only hurting their children by teaching them, that self is the only one to be concerned with. The commitment to jointly raise the children in a loving environment goes out with the wash.


The responsibility of a parent is to teach the child loyalty and moral codes to live by; they are to foster love and consideration and give protection from hurt. Yet these selfish parents push that responsibility aside to full fill their own needs. It breaks my heart to see this and now to have to watch it again in my own family. Young parents do not see the pain their children go through but the grandparents have to watch, and in many cases they will loose the precious time they could have spent with their grandchild or children. It all becomes a game of wills; it depends on which side of the family they are on are whether they will be ousted or not. The "Me generation" takes it toll again. The legacy of family must not be broken.


Courtesy is the key to any relationship, if that one factor would prevail families could get through bad situations with dignity. I know that sometimes in the fury of love we have blinders on as to the faults of the other person. Compatability is not just made in the bed, it is a day to day task keeping balance and one day you wake up and look at that person next to you and you feel you do not know them, and you have to get out; fine that happens but do it with digity and keep courtesy as the rule of engagement.


Remember marriage brings families together, and we are all connected so tread easy. When there is a divorce the children remain family to everyone. they are because of their parents. Now because the parents decide to slit, the children should not have to suffer because they remain related to all. So why is it so hard to be courteous to all concerned.


Grandparents do not care who is right or wrong they only are concerned about the children because they have seen more of life and with age comes an understanding a wisdom so to speak about the urgencies of youth, they understand and see the big picture( a picture they did not see when they were young) they see the pain that is caused by divorce and they wish for love to prevale, if not love at least courtesy.


So here we go again, how much pain depends on the parents, will they have the dignaty and play fair teaching their children that even thou they must split they still respect each others place in the lives of their children. Will they make some scrafices to facilitate the transision for the childrens sake above and beyond their own needs, will there be respect?


Time will tell, the teenage years are close and hand and the emotional termoil the children will go through will happen; the reassuring hands of both parents are required to hold them steady; they must work as a team for the childrens sake.


Did we as grandparents teach our children about the legacy of family; did we teach honor and respect for others, you see they are our legancy we gave them tools of survivel in this world of turmoil. Did we do our job so our children can do theirs with courtesy and respect.